ᛝZen Matsushima

𓏵 Backstory:

Being a Nepo baby her whole life made Zen look like a haughty little bitch, getting what she wanted no matter what and throwing off efforts of others. Zen was the top no matter what - Zen this, Zen that, Zen top of it, Zen top of them. No matter how you try- you're never her level. Her status let boundaries be treated like a suggestion if it benefits her. Her looks let her belittle you to her wish, framing herself as the victim when confronted.



However, from her point of view she was always kept up to too-high expectations from her narcissistic and perfectionist mother, constantly being reminded she is the only heir of an important business since her mother was infertile because of her, creating a sense of life-long debt. Her mother was a horrible manipulator, reminding her daughter of how either she's perfect or nothing, shaping her into a person who's self worth is straightforwardly defined by her achievements and a constant need for validation, and growing up in a society full of the same traumatized kids taught Zen how her achievements determined her life. That mentality shaped her morals of how anyone who achieved less than her is simply worthless, making her outside look like the person who looked people up and down on the daily. She grew numb to people talking behind her back- she's far better, right? She made sure she thought none mattered until stood on her level, though she could never ignore the deep, sharp pain in her chest when another rumor got to her, Though growing up as an empathic and ambitious, that part had no use but make her more vulnerable, so it got not fully erased, but buried deep and in it's place stood the artificial feelings of how one should act, assuring their position one manipulation at a time.



Keeping up a popular, successful, and highly achieving reputation throughout her school years she was burning out, losing her sense of self with how each competition made the shackles that held her accountable to the constant yearn for validation shorter and tighter. Until her father, being simply a silhouette in family pictures, physically reappearing but staying absent subconsciously for most her life took a final decision, shattering the shallow world of his teenage daughter being permanently tied to perfect student syndrome - transferring her to a public school. Claiming that she shall be taught valuable lessons before being released in a world beyond business dinners and regular people, he sent her to a public middle school for her last year and later ended up in a regular high school miles away from her usual life. Learning to blend in, letting go of the haughty traces and accepting her status wouldn’t be as jaw-dropping from her last year of middle school with the people she thought were beneath her turning out to be better people than the cardboard self she was got her ready and pushed out the person she was before for high school. Of course, years of trauma and childhood shaped by manipulation won't erase by themselves - they just taught her to enhance her game, or get rid of it as time went by and she could let out more of who she actually was to keep up her perfect reputation.